Commentator Change?

How about we get Sid Waddell to commentate on football?

Call me crazy but I think he is the only person who could make a boring 1-0 Chelsea win an interesting spectacle.

His ridiculous use of hyperbole and imagery makes fat men throwing arrows at a board an incredibly good watch.

Cries of " I can't beliiiieeeeveeeee my Geordie eyes' and "thats the greatest comback since Lazarus" are needed in the world of football as soon as possible.

Other classics from the Waddell wall of wonder include:

"This lad has more checkouts than Tescos."
"I don't know what he's had for breakfast but Taylor knocked the Snap, Crackle and Pop outta Bristow."
"Even Hypotenuse would have trouble working out these angles."
"He's twitching like a Frog in a Blender."
"There hasn't been this much excitement since the Romans fed the Christians to the Lions."

So imagine, if you will, Martin Tyler and Andy Gray commentating on a Bolton versus Wigan bore draw at the Reebok. Terrible game, no passing to feet, plenty of fouling and long throws and Andy Gray trying to analyse and evaluate this awful offering of football. Not a televisual feast for the audience.

Now imagine Sid Waddell describing the game. Lines like "that balls gone higher than Hendrix at Woodstock" or "Bramble is sweating like a hippo in a steam bath". No matter how poor the game, his uplifting comments will keep people watching and thoroughly entertained.

I think this has to be the way forward.